Even Me

Do you ever wonder when your time will come? When will you get married? When will you buy that home Where are your children? When ever will you get that education or put into action what you’ve studied? Where oh where is your dream job? Sometimes, I do wonder, but i try no to stay in that space of longing. It saddens me. I think it is supposed to bring hope and excitement at times, but that’s not what I always get. I so want to avoid the deep hole of depression, I try not to dwell on my seemingly endless not my time. Am I supposed to pray for my time to come? Do I even know what “my time” looks like? What about being content with what you have? Is that smart or stupid?
So when I hear my friends, my good friends say things like – We are praying for you. We are praying that God gives you a special blessing. I’m amazed, and humbled and awed and I’m grateful. This reminds me, how important it is to have friends who you don’t only have a good time  with – but who will pray for you, when they don’t know how else to help you. Good friends, friends who will stand in the gap for you – when you can’t stand for yourself. This song that my friend sent me this week reminds me that I’m not worthless, and encourages me to wait on God’s blessings.
I know I don’t deserve it. I am grateful for all He gives me as is, but remember even me Lord – even if the blessing that you give me – benefits only someone else. I’m willing Lord.


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