One of the books I am currently reading is Mended by Angie Smith. One day this week I read a wonderful story that she wrote about value, worth and a diamond. I won’t give the story away, but if you ever have the chance, I encourage you to read it, especially if you’re raising kids in this day and age where worth and value get mixed up quite often.
After I read the story, I took some time to talk to God. I recalled to Him, an issue I felt I’ve struggled with my entire life as to really knowing and understanding what worth was – what my worth was. All at once I had a flood of memories, and they all seemed to add up to the Holy Spirit whispering – I think you know more about the difference between worth and value than you think you do.
Remember a few weeks ago when I shared the interview I did with Tracie Miles? Well, there was a photo of me that accompanied the interview. Quite honestly, before that photo, if you didn’t know me personally or you hadn’t looked at the Rubi bloggers page. You didn’t know what I looked like. I heard more than once over that time – I didn’t know what you looked like, but my favorite is – I didn’t realize that I didn’t know what you looked like. I think that’s my favorite because, that’s closest to how I feel about people I’ve never seen.
I came to realize at a young age, that people – many, no – some people put a value on you when they know what you look like. They decide if you are “worth” their time and effort based on the value they have placed on your face. I’ve felt it, I’ve experienced it, and I don’t like it. I doubt anyone does. So not sharing what I looked like was first just not feeling like I was “pretty” enough and just a deep sense of insecurity, but even when I moved past that (we still battle at times) – I kept my no face on the internet practice. Having gone through this, I didn’t want to treat anyone better or worse depending on what they looked like. So I decided I wouldn’t focus on knowing that, and I didn’t – I still don’t. I’m sure it has a lot less to do with me than I think. I understand that visual people, might have a more difficult time understanding this, and it’s ok, I think if I were a visual person, I would have a difficult time too, but it wouldn’t kill me. If you’re my friend, you’ve probably seen my heart already, you’ll eventually see my face, I’m sure.
I think it might be strange, but I’m not curious about what other people look like. Hmm, ok the musical In the heights – have you ever heard of it? It came out a few years ago, and once I learned about it I was hooked. At the time, I along with a like minded heights lover created a blog with an emphasis on the lyricist. He even became a regular reader of our blog…
They would’ve never known that I hadn’t actually seen (with my own two eyes) the show until its final week. That’s because I saw In the Heights with my heart way before I ever saw it with my eyes. That’s how I feel about people’s faces. sure it’s wonderful that you have one, but I’d much rather get to know you with my heart first. What about people who are convinced they can’t know you unless they know what your face looks like? I don’t know – maybe we can talk.
Nothing about what you look will affect the way my heart already feels about you. Perhaps something else might, but not your face. You’re worth more to me than any value I could put on your face.
God feels even stronger about us. We are worth more to Him, than any value, that any thing can cast on us. He knows us better than we know ourselves and nothing that we have done or will do can change His love for us. To Him, we are priceless!
I’m not sure how well I would’ve understood this if I hadn’t lived my life. And so yes the Lord was right (of course) I do understand more about value and worth than I thought. And neither of us should ever allow what someone thinks of our face’s “value” to overshadow our infinite worth.